Oh So Tired Of Being Sick

My tonsils are swollen and I feel weak. I really just wanted to let everyone know that this sucks and also actually post something on my blog. One day I'll post about:

• League Of Legends
• More music
• My apartment next year
• Computer Science club
• The wonderful food in Bloomington

One day...

Tearing Out My Hair On The Bedroom Floor

So, it's four thirty on a Saturday afternoon and I'm sitting alone in my room, doing nothing but browsing the web pointlessly.

I woke up at 3 today, so I suppose that makes the situation less pointless but still.

I'm listening to Matthew Fozzi, the ex-backing vocalist from Tacking Back Sunday's, new band's album. It's pretty solid so far. Nice to listen to something I want to listen to instead of some of the things my friends choose for our little music club thing. I really aughta write about that sometime. There are a lot of things I should theoretically write about, but I'm too damn lazy.

I've had trouble wanting to write anymore. I feel like if it's about a subject I'm actually passionate about then generally no one gives a damn. I don't just want to write posts about negativity, that just drags in a bunch of appreciated-but-misplaced sympathy. I want to write for myself, not for anyone else. Not right now.

I'll probably be writing here more. I hope that you'll still read this, as I do honestly want other people to read it. I like the idea of keeping so much out in the open like this. I just don't want to feel like I have to keep people entertained when I'm obviously piss poor at it.

This thing has been long enough, I'm going to get off my ass and do something productive. Like eat. Eating is productive.

Would It Kill Me?

As I type this, I lay on my bed doing nothing. This has been my most common location for the past three days.

I know what the few of you who clicked the damn link are thinking: "Why do I give a fuck? Who possibly cares what Andrew is doing as he types his pointless ramblings?" while the other half are already clicking off the tab and heading to the kitchen to eat, finally having found a brief respite from the otherwise non-stop stream of interesting information on the internet. For those people, I fear all hope is lost of them ever viewing my laments. For the rest of you, I ask you to read (and maybe even comment0 because you, just maybe, care enough about me to read whatever I thought was important enough to write. At the least, indulge me.

Anyway, back to where we started. It's 11:30 at night and I haven't attempted to contact anyone to find out what interesting happenstances are occurring at the moment. I could do that, or I could continue to waste away with my bag of pretzels in my room. I've got no momentum right now, no desire to do anything. This isn't just my usual laziness. I feel very... burnt out. I don't really WANT to be around others.

I was really stressed out on my birthday a few days ago (thanks for all the birthday wishes and whatnots, by the way). A few factors included my dad being an ass, as usual, a lot of people cramped around me for most of the day, heat, a lack of decent sleep, and a massive amount of stupidity when trying to form any sort of plans for the day.

Now, I wouldn't say it was a bad birthday, but it disappointed in a few ways. More importantly, I was really looking forward to it and I suppose I just didn't really get what I wanted (not materialistically here people, I'm not that bad). This, in turn, has led to me not wanting to put forth any sort of effort into making these past few days anything special.

I suppose I'm typing this now because I just want to get it out there. I mean, what does one do when they feel like this? I don't want to be "that asshole" who goes and hangs out with his friends but then just mopes and constantly claims to be alright, only to follow up by sulking in the damn corner some more. No, I'm better than that (at least I'd like to hope I am), but then what do I do? I'm tired of being in this damn room. It's hot and a mess and I don't like it.

Anyway, if that whole thing was too long for you to read, I've got a nice short summary for you

• I'm burnt out and don't know how to deal with it.
• You're an ass, read it.

You Used To Be Alright, What Happened?

I really wish my iPod battery hadn't gone to hell right now. I'd just like to play some music and take a walk, but that can only last for about 15 minutes before my music is gone.

Feels bad man.

Decline In Posts

I want to say that I'm obviously not posting as much as I started out as. This is a problem. This blog helps me to stimulate my thinking and provides an outlet for my thoughts, opinions, rants, whatever...

I need more sleep. I'll blame it on that.

Eye Strain

I do NOT have enough time to get stuff done.

I have so many things to do. Also, I'm extremely tired.

Also also for those not in the know, I can't wear my contacts for a week and my left eye hurts like a bitch.

UGH.

EDIT: Okay, I'm gonna elaborate a little bit.

I'm pretty kinda stressed about the Business School. I'm not sure at all what I'd do if I don't get in. That is not a fun thought.

As far as my eyes go, I'm taking some eye drops that are supposed to help with the pain my left eye has been going through. The thing is, the optometrist thinks my eye pain is related to my contact lenses, which I really don't agree with. He's the doc though. I just hope that the problem goes away for good.

I have been having a ton of difficulty adjusting to a normal sleep schedule back here on campus. Falling asleep is really hard and waking up is getting harder.

Just felt like griping.

Self-Inflicted Boredom

I am currently retaking A100 because I'm an idiot and got a D in the class the first time around. This leaves me in a pretty lame situation.

See, I've already seen everything in the class, making repeating it extremely boring. Much of the material is stuff that I already understand. But I can't not pay attention, or I'll just fail the course again, in which case I'll be really in some deep stuff.

Basically, I have to balance paying good attention with not letting myself literally get bored to death. I think I can do it...

The Accursed Project

I hate this paper.

I know it will get done, but...

Not without a fight.

Ugh.

A Week To Go

I need Spring Break guys, really bad. I have to go to Calc soon, and I'm so tempted to go back to sleep right now that if I weren't already wearing pants I would.

I'm sure it's a combination of the stress of the last two weeks, the caffeine and crazy weekends, but I feel totally beat. I feel like someone who did way too much Charlie Sheen. Unfortunately, I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars, so I can't handle this.

I'm going to drag myself to class now. If no one sees me later today, go to Ballantine 130 and wake me up please.

Sheena's Got Nothing On Me

I got a new jacket today. It is awesome and makes me feel cool.

 More significantly perhaps, I have a midterm for M119 in ten hours. Needless to say, I'm pretty stressed. This class makes a big impact on my grades, and if I don't do good on the midterm then I'm going to have to really bust myself to pick up my grade. I need to do good. I think I can, but who knows?

That is an awful question, I should know. I should be able to do fine. Perhaps if I were studying instead of informing all of you how stressed this makes me, I wouldn't really be stressed...

Nah. Couldn't be.

Accounting Failure

RAGE. I AM FULL OF IT.

I need to retake A100. The eDrop/eAdd class system is down right now (because right when it is needed was the best time to upgrade it of course). I went to my counselor to get a form. She told me I needed to go to Kelley today to enroll. So I walked in the rain of course! Upon getting there, it took me a small bit to find BU2-whatever. When I did, the note on the door informed me that I had to go to BU100E. Whatever, I found it. Once there, I was told to go to BU540. You think maybe they could have told the guys on the second floor that? Upon arriving upstairs, I was told that I would have to come back Monday because the person already left.

I just wasted over an hour of my time and missed out on free waffle fries. FOR NOTHING. (And I lost the add/drop form)

God forbid this place actually make something SIMPLE.

I Am Jack's Lack Of Sleep

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has been really losing sleep over all of these tests, projects, and midterms. I'm dying here... Ugh.

It just sucks, I'm losing sleep over work, and my quality of work is declining because of it. It's a vicious cycle. I can't wait for Spring Break, and I'm sure I'm not alone. I just want to be away from all of my stressors, back at home where I have nothing to do but gorge myself on soda and fast food. Is that so wrong?

Of course it isn't. Nevertheless, I can't wait. Sleeping more than like five hours a night is going to be fantastic.

Struggling With M-119

I am not enjoying this class at all. These derivatives are driving up a friggin' wall. I don't know why they bug me so much. I think it's a combination of the notations which I have not yet been able to make complete sense of and the book which is pretty damn useless. Regardless, I push on. I love the college environment and mentality. I'm free to stay up and push myself to get my work done. I can skip class if I have to. 1:10 in the morning no longer seems late at all. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way.

These Saturday tests, however, are total bull. That should be illegal. If it can't be fit into my normal class time, it isn't worth doing... Okay, maybe that isn't true, but what is the point of a weekend if I have to wake up at eight for a Calculus test?

On an unrelated note, I'm listening to the playlist that me and several friends composed and loving it. Definitely need to listen to more classic rock, thank you Richard. For those of you not cool enough to be in on the playlist, I will expand upon this awesome idea of mine in a later post.

EDIT: I hate WebWorks. Just a few left... God I'm tired.