Making You A Better Person

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Eye Strain

I do NOT have enough time to get stuff done.

I have so many things to do. Also, I'm extremely tired.

Also also for those not in the know, I can't wear my contacts for a week and my left eye hurts like a bitch.

UGH.

EDIT: Okay, I'm gonna elaborate a little bit.

I'm pretty kinda stressed about the Business School. I'm not sure at all what I'd do if I don't get in. That is not a fun thought.

As far as my eyes go, I'm taking some eye drops that are supposed to help with the pain my left eye has been going through. The thing is, the optometrist thinks my eye pain is related to my contact lenses, which I really don't agree with. He's the doc though. I just hope that the problem goes away for good.

I have been having a ton of difficulty adjusting to a normal sleep schedule back here on campus. Falling asleep is really hard and waking up is getting harder.

Just felt like griping.

Back To Bloomington

This time tomorrow, I'll be asleep in my dorm room.

I'm gonna miss Beech Grove. And yet, I miss Bloomington now.

I suppose when these are the hard things in life, life is good.

This Is The Way, Step Inside!

 

If I were to get a tattoo, I think this is one of my top choices for a design. It's based off of the album cover for Unknown Pleasures by Joy Division. I like music, I like the band, and I really like the design. Anyone who actually reads this thing got an opinion?

A Call To Arms

What would I change in the world, if I could?

I don't know, that's a huge question. I mean, shouldn't the obvious answer be to solve world hunger or even world peace? Those are stupid answers, I think. Conflict is inevitable and as a result, everyone cannot truly be equal. It's a wonderful dream to be sure, but not feasible, not in this world.

I wish I could free people from the stress that modern society creates.

Think of all of the things you've had to go through in life that were stressful. I mean, I'm in college for God's sake. The complexity of IU is baffling. Covering all of the costs alone is incredibly hard just to start. You've got loans, grants, FAFSA, scholarships, bursar refunds... Past that, you've got the stress of all of your classes. You have to do good, or else you'll be permanently affected. You may lose scholarships or not be able to get into the school you wanted to. You also have to actually know what you want to do in life. If not, you may have to change your major and take an extra year or perhaps summer classes.

All of this is done in an attempt to get a well-paying job. Even then, it's more about who you know.

You go through all of this simply because the way our modern world is set up. I know the education system is different in other countries, but wherever you go the end result is that you'll have to go through a lot of work just to attain what is considered to be a good life by society.

It isn't just the school system that I take issue with. Think about the minimum wage job you may have had or attempting to file taxes. Life is complicated. It's stressful. It loads a ton of expectations on you with seemingly little results.

Why is it that we never seem to be encouraged to pursue happiness in our lives? What if we honestly don't want to go to college or get a high paying job?

NOTE: I am resuming writing this after a few days. I've had time to clarify my thought and am in a different state of mind. Let's see how this goes.

My issue, ultimately, is that I believe people in today's world are often unable to attain happiness due to the amount of stress and conflicting ideals that the world throws at them. We spend so long going through the system that's been established to bring us to adulthood, doing our critical thinking about life and the universe on the sidelines. It's so difficult to get even an idea of what to do with our lives, let alone of the significance of what we choose to do.

...Shoot, this whole thing is unorganized. It's a mess-and-a-half. It's a combination of my school-related stress and my recent philosophical quandaries. I'm going to give this whole "change in the world" thing another go when I have a better idea of what exactly it is. Until then, enjoy my semi-coherent rambling.

Shamrock Shakes

I spent most of today with Kyra, and it was rather wonderful! We watched The Social Network, had Chinese food and a Shamrock Shake, and were generally cool people. She just had her wisdom teeth pulled, which has to suck.

I know most of you probably don't care, but I felt it important to take this time to make sure she knows how much I love our time together. Because I do. And I love her.

;)

Shuma-Gorath

...is now available for Marvel Vs. Capcom 3. He is freaking awesome, and all of you with the game should seriously download him. It's totally worth it.

In other news, to those of you who live in Beech Grove or Indy, you should go to Great China Buffet. It's located right west of U of I and is some really good food. It's my personal fave.

I've been playing more Pokemon lately, just because everyone else has Black or White. I really want it.

I've Got Nothing To Say

Seriously. I don't. I haven't done much as of late. I did just listen to The Strokes new album. I guess I could post about that later. I don't even know why I post all of these. I KNOW that no one wants to read them. I guess I feel that if I'm not posting anything, I'll fall out of the habit. But, why stay in the habit if it is pointless?

Anyway, I'm full of pointless things. Just ignore me.

Being A Loser

Pretty much what I am doing at this moment.

Any of you IU peeps doing anything? Care to share?

Lazy Daze

I've done nothing for hours today.

I am extremely okay with this.

While I may be bored, my stress is basically melting away.

Feels good man.

Dungeons And Dragons

I am currently sitting with six of my close friends, watching them play DnD. I'm okay with this.

I actually used to be a part of this game. I was a Warforged (robot) Wizard named Flametongue. When I went off to IU, it was decided that my character would die of RustRot and be buried in a backyard. Good to know my friends care deeply about me.

Over the summer, I guess they're going to go on an epic quest to revive me. I'm hoping to come back with some sort of awesome flame powers or a mechanical spider or something.

I'm pretty much a huge nerd sometimes. To those of you who have never played Dungeons and Dragons, it's a lot of fun especially with good friends. The only thing you really need is a competent Dungeon Master (guy who makes the whole story). If you've got that, you can basically wing the rest and learn as you go.

Being back in Beech Grove is absolutely wonderful. I feel so free and relaxed. I cannot possibly explain how good it feels to not have ANYTHING to do. I'm sure you can imagine.

Benevolent Sons

These idiots.

So for those of you not cool enough to be in-the-know, these guys are Benevolent Sons. They are composed of basically my best BG friends: Connor Law, Alex Holsclaw, David Gardner, Anthony Mayer, and Josh Lewis. Also they're a band, since I haven't actually yet said that.

I just got back from watching them perform, and it's always a ton of fun. I don't even LIKE Metalcore, and they still sounded good. If you do like this sort of music however, or just wanna give something new a shot, go give them a listen! Here's their MySpace,  I did the work for you.

I'm hopefully hitting up Steak N' Shake with these dudes in a bit. Pretty sweet way to end a night!

Peace of Mind

Right now, I am at home in my boxers on my bed, and I feel fine. Actually I feel great.

I have no homework. I have nowhere to be, nothing to do. I can just not worry about the world or anything in it (although I probably should be worrying about Japan). This next week is going to be fantastic. I'm thinking that by the time I get back to school, I'll probably be ready. In the meanwhile, I'm going to be doing awesome things like going to Steak N' Shake, playing Yu-Gi-Oh, seeing my friends play a concert, DND, and all sorts of other awesome things that will make people jealous.

Anyways, sooner or later I'll get around to posting something that isn't just my personal life.

Probably later over break.

I'm Back!

Back in Beech Grove people!

If I had a bed right now, I would totally be posting about my awesome plans and the peeps here and at IU.

But I don't, so my legs hurt.

Remind me later then!

That Stupid Paper Is Getting Done NOW

Seriously.

Self-Inflicted Boredom

I am currently retaking A100 because I'm an idiot and got a D in the class the first time around. This leaves me in a pretty lame situation.

See, I've already seen everything in the class, making repeating it extremely boring. Much of the material is stuff that I already understand. But I can't not pay attention, or I'll just fail the course again, in which case I'll be really in some deep stuff.

Basically, I have to balance paying good attention with not letting myself literally get bored to death. I think I can do it...

Getting My Paper Done

I just managed to write three pages. I feel pretty dang good about that. I'm glad that once I start a paper, I can usually get on a roll. Still, this thing is really draining me. It's just unfortunate timing. I've had so many tests over the last two weeks that I had minimal time to work on this, and I have an Italian oral exam on Thursday that requires a bit of studying. On top of this, I leave for break directly after I turn this paper in, leaving me with the sense that it is the only thing stopping me from relaxing, which sucks.

Nevertheless, it is getting done like everything. I'm glad that I have the drive to always get my work done. I know that is something not everyone can say, so I'm proud of that little part of myself. I just wish I was able to devote more effort to my work. I'm too content with never giving my best.

How does one increase their desire to impress themselves in their actions?

No really, I'm open to suggestions.

The Accursed Project

I hate this paper.

I know it will get done, but...

Not without a fight.

Ugh.

I'd Lie For Only You

I'm listening to a lot of Brand New lately. They're pretty much my favorite band ever. I'd like to say there is competition, but I'd be lying. They're amazing lyrically and musically, and have such a fantastic range of songs.

I'm going to start talking about Deja Entendu, because it is probably their best known and maybe even best album. It starts off with Tautou, which I personally find to be a bit boring. However, it's really just an introductory track, so that can be forgiven.

Following that, we've got Sic Transit Gloria... Glory Fades. As far as the album goes, this is probably my least favorite song. It certainly isn't bad, but it is a bit on the boring side. Lyrically, it's alright. It's a song about someone who is having sex reluctantly and is disgusted by his actions. Still, it's catchy and certainly not bad at all.

I Will Play My Game Beneath The Spin Light is pretty amazing. It's basically about someone who is tired of all of the touring and music, and the isolation that it brings. Ordinarily, I would say it's stupid for a band to complain about that, but you really feel what he means through the song. Also, musically it's one of my favorites. It has a really fast pace and isn't overly depressing. It also leads straight into...

Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't, which is probably my favorite song. Maybe not #1, but really close. I love the whole thing. It's actually written about the guy from Taking Back Sunday and how he stole his girlfriend and how TBS sucks. I'm not sure why I like it so much. I just find it to be really fascinating to write a song about such a thing.

I'll write more about it later. Please listen to it. You won't regret it. 

Sick Of Here

I really can't wait to escape for Spring Break and get away from IU. I mean, I love it here. I love the people, the scenery, and the food, but I'm stressed and want to see my friends back home.

I'm stoked, honestly. I plan on just kicking back with all of my bros, playing cards and going to Steak & Shake. I miss the simplicity of life at home. Most of all, I really miss hanging with everyone. I miss car rides and not having a place to stay.

I want to not have any schoolwork to worry about, and weekends that are crazy but in a different way. I want to share some of the awesome music I've listened to here.

I'm really excited to be in Beech Grove. Didn't think I'd be saying that.

Intense Debates

At lunch today, we had an awesome debate about being tried as an adult in court.

Unfortunately, I feel lazy as heck, so I don't wanna recap the whole thing.

The gist of things was that I'm opposed to trying someone under the age of eighteen as an adult.

Anyway, I need to get on that five page paper...

Also, I need to write about what I would change in the world. I'll get around to that soon. Maybe tonight when I'm supposed to be writing a paper.

A Week To Go

I need Spring Break guys, really bad. I have to go to Calc soon, and I'm so tempted to go back to sleep right now that if I weren't already wearing pants I would.

I'm sure it's a combination of the stress of the last two weeks, the caffeine and crazy weekends, but I feel totally beat. I feel like someone who did way too much Charlie Sheen. Unfortunately, I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars, so I can't handle this.

I'm going to drag myself to class now. If no one sees me later today, go to Ballantine 130 and wake me up please.

Chilling In "A" Basement

Like many nights this semester, I am currently in the basement of A Tower, chilling out. Currently, it's just me Grace and Jillian. Like many nights again, people have slowly left over the course of the night.

I'm really pretty okay with this schedule. I like having a good group of great people to hang out with. Last semester was vaguely consistent at best.

My friends rock.

Narcisissm

I worry that I'm narcissistic.

Either that or I act it to hide a frail ego.

One of the two.

Probably not, just feeling down right now.

Whatever.

Responsibilities Of Many Kinds

Right now, I should be writing a paper for X-100, Introduction To Business. I will, sooner or later. It will get done, as will my other work. But it seems so pointless, so shallow...

I've been thinking a lot lately, about all sorts of things as evidenced by an earlier post. My current big question is this: What is my responsibility to this world?

Do I owe the world or the people of it anything? Should I be striving for the betterment of mankind? If so, how? There are many things one could theoretically do to attempt such a thing. I could educate myself politically and vote informed or even attempt to enter the system to make our country a better place to live. I could start a business with the intent of providing the world with a product or service that would better it. I could do all kinds of things, but ultimately, is it my responsibility?

What about my responsibility to myself? My desire for personal happiness and fulfillment? When does that factor in to my decision-making process? Likewise though, if all of my actions are self-serving am I selfish? Does it make me uncaring of the world around me?

What if absolutely everyone was self-serving? Wouldn't we all be fine then? I mean, if we were all held responsible for our own personal satisfaction and only our own, we wouldn't have to feel bad if others were in a bad situation. Of course, we DO feel bad, so that's a moot point. For that matter, I'm not saying that we shouldn't feel bad. Au contrair, I personally believe that by attempting to provide happiness for others, we can find peace for ourselves knowing we're doing something...

By saying that, I acknowledge that I believe a person to have some form of debt to the world around them. However, now there is the issue of what is truly important in life. Assuming that I should be helping others, is happiness what I should be attempting to provide? I find happiness to be a good goal, as it encompasses all sorts of options such as financial stability, equal rights, or even just someone to listen. What if I'm wrong though? What if the overall goal of humanity is to accomplish something and our personal happiness is insignificant to this goal or perhaps something that is supposed to be obtained through a pursuit of it?

By now, I must admit to a bit of weariness and am going to conclude this post. Any of you who read, I would love to hear your thoughts on this!

Someday...

So I'm listening to The Strokes right now, and you should be too.

I originally discovered (can you say that for bigger bands?) them on my Pandora station based on Franz Ferdinand whom I also love. It really took a while for them to catch on, but once something clicked with me, i fell in love. I'll admit, quite a few of their songs sound "samey" at first, but I think that was more a result of me being unfamiliar with the general sound.

If you were going to take my advice and be awesome, I'd tell you to start with their first album, Is This It. It has the really straightforward Garage Rock sound that they're really known for, and some of their best songs. Someday is one of my personal favorites, as is New York City Cops. It does have a few boring points, but overall I think it's their best. If you like it, try out one of their other two. First Impressions of Earth is really different from their earlier sound, whereas Room On Fire is basically the same sound as their first album, a little clearer in the vocals.

Anyway, they rock and you should give them a shot.

Like A Rolling Stone

It is currently almost four on a Saturday night. I am having trouble seeing correctly, let alone typing. Nevertheless, I feel good. I feel like today, I discovered a good amount not just about me, but about Kyra and also the people around me.

I know life can be stressful, and I know I'm avoiding that stress. Tell me honestly though, what do you do when you feel as if work has consumed you?

I personally am going to sleep. Good night world and all those who inhabit it!

A Hint Of Existentialism

I'm feeling oddly introspective right now.

I think that to be a good thing, it is the biggest reason I started this blog. I want to be able to express myself further. It calms me in the rest of my day-to-day life, giving me more time to think about who I am.

I'm not quite feeling the huge rant now, but still...

Why am I here at IU? Is it going to lead to greater happiness? What of my recent lack-of-passion for my academics? Are my personal standards lowering? Am I still a greater person than a year ago today?

Whatever, it's only a feeling.

Why I'm Better Than A Few Of You...

This is why.

I checked the statistics of my blog, and found out that some of you are using Safari or, godforbid, INTERNET EXPLORER.




Sheeple, it is not 2000 anymore. You have several internet browsers you can choose from, and the flaming sack of crap that is Internet Explorer is not a valid choice. I know some people prefer Google Chrome, and a few of you like Opera, and that is fine by me. What is NOT fine is that some of you are willingly using a browser that is:

• Slow
• Ugly
• Vulnerable
• Out-Of-Date

If someone told you that if you just drove your car down to the lot they would replace it with a Ferrari, would you hesitate? No, of course you wouldn't. And yet, you willingly stick with an inferior browser.

http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/firefox/

There, I even put a damn link for you. If those Internet Explorer and Safari numbers keep going up, I'm going to be really, really disappointed.

Our Playlist

So yeah, I'm going to discuss the playlist thing I'd mentioned earlier. I'm sure someone else has done this, but whatever, I had the idea on my own.

Basically, me and eight other people took three songs each that we'd picked for whatever reason (mostly favorites and variety). I put them all together on a playlist and we all listened to it. A simple idea, to be sure, but a ton of fun. I also plan to update it in the near future. It's really cool to get to hear what all my friends listen to and expand my own taste while I'm at it. Any of you reading should definitely give it a shot. Since I'm talking about it, lemme go into my favorites from each person.

Such Great Heights (The Postal Service) - Ethan chose this song, and previously I'd only heard the Iron And Wine version. I can't say which I like better, but this one is really upbeat and cheerful, and makes me happy.

Breathe (Pink Floyd) - Saying this is my favorite of Grace's is sort of cheating. I mean, I grew up with Pink Floyd and already love them, so... Nevertheless, it is a fantastic song.

Koop Island Blues (Koop) - Gotta say, never heard any of Jillian's before, but this one is definitely my favorite. Its got a really relaxing sound to it, as if I were off the coast of Mexico with a margarita. Not gay.

Don't You? (I Fight Dragons) - All of Jim's picks are closer to a sound I'm used to. This song just has a good pop rock vibe to it that makes it a fun listen.

Koi No Mega Lover (Maximum The Hormone) - I never listen to Japanese music anymore, so getting this from John was a pleasant and fun surprise. Plus, it rocks hard. Reminds me of earlier childhood.

Maintain Consciousness (Relient K) - Juli's picks are not songs I would've listened to on my own, but I'm glad I did. I've heard Relient K before, and this is a pretty cool song. Again, a good fun poppy song.

Road To Joy (Bright Eyes) - Kyra's were all songs I'd heard before. Bright Eyes is occasionally awesome, and this song is great. It's simple but strong lyrically, and he really screams pretty passionately.

Peace Of Mind (Boston) - Classic Rock is always good, and this is particularly good Classic Rock. Richard picked it, and it certainly makes him seem less pretentious than me and my Radiohead.

Anyway, those of you reading that aren't one of these people should do this, it's a lot of fun!

Too Much Sleep!

Guess who set his alarm wrong on the day of his M119 midterm?

This guy!

Luckily, I was woken up ten minutes before the exam because Kyra told Keith to check on me. I did indeed make it on time and actually think I did quite well. That takes a hell of a lot of stress off of my shoulders. Not all of it, mind you, but a good chunk.

I feel like I should talk more about things unrelated to my personal life to make this more interesting... Anyone reading agree? Disagree?

Sheena's Got Nothing On Me

I got a new jacket today. It is awesome and makes me feel cool.

 More significantly perhaps, I have a midterm for M119 in ten hours. Needless to say, I'm pretty stressed. This class makes a big impact on my grades, and if I don't do good on the midterm then I'm going to have to really bust myself to pick up my grade. I need to do good. I think I can, but who knows?

That is an awful question, I should know. I should be able to do fine. Perhaps if I were studying instead of informing all of you how stressed this makes me, I wouldn't really be stressed...

Nah. Couldn't be.

Accounting Failure

RAGE. I AM FULL OF IT.

I need to retake A100. The eDrop/eAdd class system is down right now (because right when it is needed was the best time to upgrade it of course). I went to my counselor to get a form. She told me I needed to go to Kelley today to enroll. So I walked in the rain of course! Upon getting there, it took me a small bit to find BU2-whatever. When I did, the note on the door informed me that I had to go to BU100E. Whatever, I found it. Once there, I was told to go to BU540. You think maybe they could have told the guys on the second floor that? Upon arriving upstairs, I was told that I would have to come back Monday because the person already left.

I just wasted over an hour of my time and missed out on free waffle fries. FOR NOTHING. (And I lost the add/drop form)

God forbid this place actually make something SIMPLE.

I Am Jack's Lack Of Sleep

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has been really losing sleep over all of these tests, projects, and midterms. I'm dying here... Ugh.

It just sucks, I'm losing sleep over work, and my quality of work is declining because of it. It's a vicious cycle. I can't wait for Spring Break, and I'm sure I'm not alone. I just want to be away from all of my stressors, back at home where I have nothing to do but gorge myself on soda and fast food. Is that so wrong?

Of course it isn't. Nevertheless, I can't wait. Sleeping more than like five hours a night is going to be fantastic.

Struggling With M-119

I am not enjoying this class at all. These derivatives are driving up a friggin' wall. I don't know why they bug me so much. I think it's a combination of the notations which I have not yet been able to make complete sense of and the book which is pretty damn useless. Regardless, I push on. I love the college environment and mentality. I'm free to stay up and push myself to get my work done. I can skip class if I have to. 1:10 in the morning no longer seems late at all. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way.

These Saturday tests, however, are total bull. That should be illegal. If it can't be fit into my normal class time, it isn't worth doing... Okay, maybe that isn't true, but what is the point of a weekend if I have to wake up at eight for a Calculus test?

On an unrelated note, I'm listening to the playlist that me and several friends composed and loving it. Definitely need to listen to more classic rock, thank you Richard. For those of you not cool enough to be in on the playlist, I will expand upon this awesome idea of mine in a later post.

EDIT: I hate WebWorks. Just a few left... God I'm tired.

Brand New's Deja Entendu

If you don't listen to Brand New, you should. I mean, I named this blog after them, so I probably like them. They're really fantastic. Depressing as hell, but fantastic. If you listen to anything I end up posting here, please make it them?


If you do plan to follow my obviously great advice, I would start with Deja Entendu. It's their second album and probably their most popular. It represents a clear shift in sound from their first album, which is very much pop-punk, to their later works which are harder for me to give a genre to. It's a great mix of pop, emo, and... not really sure what else. I'm not particularly good with words,

Anyway, listen to "I Will Play My Game Beneath The Spin Light" and "Play Crack The Sky". Especially the latter, it may just be their best song. If you like it, listen to their next album. That one is probably my favorite, but that's for a different post.

An Awkward Introduction

Any of you who live in Forest probably have seen the gentleman who walks around dressed like he is from 19th century England. His name is Miles, and I totally finally introduced myself to him and asked him why he dresses the way he does (because he just likes it). I sorta yelled his name to stop him after he had passed, and had to explain why I've slightly stalked him. Anyway, still got that out of the way, so take THAT world!

I really like posting, so those of you whom I love should probably get used to reading.

My Life In Words

Not like any of you care, but as evidenced by the fact that you are reading this, I've decided to blog about my life. It's not really gonna be anything in particular. If I listen to a particularly moving song, or play a cool game, or something of real significance actually happens in my life (unlikely), it will be mentioned here. Feel free to berate me, tell me how pointless this is, or make fun of my song-title derived blog name. Or you could, I don't know, comment and actually be interested in what I have to say. I recommend that one actually.